You are who you meet

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

I have now heard a message 5 times in about the last two months and from pretty unconnected sources.  So, I feel it is beyond time to take some action.

It is said that

We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

That is a little more brutal than other sayings like

  • Fools of a feather flock together
  • People are like sheep
  • Fools seldom differ
  • You are who you meet

So, its time for you to see where you stand. Mastermind groups are pretty much booming, and exactly for this reason.

To be successful, you should surround yourself with other ambitious and successful people. You will feed off them, learn and grow together.  I am a carer, and only the carer support group can help me through my challenges and offer empathy and solutions. Simple because they are going through a similar journey. There are different ways to do this. You may want to join a traditional local business group. Their main reason could be for networking and maybe even a formalised passing on of leads and contacts, like the BNI model. However, when I have been in such successful groups, many people say that the help, advice and encouragement could be just as, even more, valuable to them.

At the point of writing this post, I am looking for a new success group to join, because I find a group more valuable than one-on-one mentoring. I am also looking at the possibility of starting my own Mastermind Group.  We are always looking for ways to move up the WP Business Club to another level, and the need for more focused events is growing. So, after the success of the WooCommerce Group, we are now going to start a ‘Mentors’ group, to provide the help and support for ‘coaches, mentors, trainers etc.’  We will be providing a technology platform, based upon WordPress for them to do all the admin and marketing through. Whether online or face-to-face, we have designed a system that will cover both methods of delivery.   In this Mastermind group, the focus of all the members will be more closely aligned with the winning new customers and discover more effective ways to deliver their knowledge and experience. As the chance of them wanting to deliver the same training in the exact same area is low, the issues of conflict can be minimised.

So, what are you going to do about your friends?

  1. Write down on a piece of paper the 3 main attributes you think you need to be a success in business.
  2. Now write down your 3 main attributes.
  3. Now tick the attributes you honestly think you match. You probably not going to match.
  4. Now write down the 3 top attributes of your top 5 friends.
  5. If you belong to any business Group, repeat this for the 5 people you meet regularly and engage with the most.
  6. Based upon the results of friends & business, now add another 3 positive attributes to your top list (if they are good enough).
  7. If your friends don’t align you need some more friends.
  8. If the business group does not align, you need to change contacts in that group or get a new group.

You need people who align with your TARGET list because that’s where you want to be. Not directly on your list, because that is where you are. Obviously there must be some crossover, otherwise, they won’t be that attracted to you!

As I look around for a new success group to join, I am doing these calculations to find the most needed skills.

Does that mean I am not looking for groups of people who have the right contacts, or who represent certain industries? Certainly not, that is still important. Maybe, less important than I thought is used to be.

If you see yourself unfriended, you know why 😉